Training for a positive mental attitude

Easier said than done - but possible!

It was primarily the author of arguably the most influential success book of all time, Napoleon Hill ("Think and Grow Rich," 1937), who popularized a 'positive mental attitude.' Over the years, it has become increasingly forgotten that "positive mental attitude" originally did not mean a one-sided, naive rose-colored glasses approach, compulsively avoiding every negative or unpleasant thought. Instead, it was much more something that, in my own words, I would describe as "realistic optimism" or "optimistic realism" (to deliberately distinguish it from "positive thinking," which is often mispracticed as shallow one-sided avoidance behavior).

Napoleon Hill wasn’t teaching to deceive oneself into a fake positive lull:
What is now referred to as "toxic positivity" - the selfish avoidance of all 'negative' experiences at the expense of compassionlessness - would certainly not have been endorsed by Hill.

Therefore, in his classic "Think and Grow Rich," you'll also find a list of questions that encourage ruthless self-analysis, including consciously confronting one's own character flaws and weaknesses. According to Hill, a "positive mental attitude" should be based on self-awareness and not lead to an illusory escape into a superficial 'positive'.

Positive mental attitude—or rather, optimistic realism—is based on confronting reality in an optimistic manner: It's about learning to focus on possibilities instead of merely seeing obstacles or constantly complaining about something. Obstacles are real, but there are almost always ways around or beyond them.

And sure, there are negatives in life, but complaining about them usually doesn't change anything. And by "complaining," I don't mean legitimate complaints—like politely insisting to return a soup in which you found a hair—or pointing out injustices. It's about constantly lamenting everything negative in one's life, which only intensifies the suffering.

Optimistic realism means cultivating a mindset focused on constructive options and, for example, concentrating on one's goals rather than on fears. It means not sinking into catastrophizing but aligning oneself internally with desirable scenarios and populating one's mental world with optimistic possibilities.

And admittedly, that's anything but easy. Firstly, because culturally, we are more inclined towards fear and anger—you can see that by just watching the news on TV or reading the newspaper—and the impact of this cultural 'programming' should not be underestimated.

Secondly, it's not easy because very few people are born with a fundamentally optimistic nature or are raised to be optimistic.

So, anyone aiming to fundamentally retrain their mindset toward realistic optimism must be prepared for tough training: Simply deciding to be optimistic from today usually doesn’t last long. Reciting a few affirmations here and there or visualizing for 10 minutes a day rarely brings about fundamental change. Learning to direct your thought world more optimistically also requires this dose of realism: It's easier for all of us to give in to our fears and negative emotions than to confront and triumph over them. And such realism also entails that the training never stops—there's no point in life where you will only think optimistically and when you will be completely immune to negative thoughts or emotions. The training in realistic optimism is ongoing - the aim is to continually become better, not perfect.

Moreover, optimistic realism acknowledges that a positive mental attitude is "only" the foundation of a happy, successful life, but not the only factor. Other factors, also mentioned by Hill, include accurate thinking—analytical abilities and the ability for precise reflection—competence development, (empathetic) understanding of people and the world, setting goals and plans, and implementing what's planned, as well as the ability to seek advice and accept competent, benevolent feedback.

The purpose of cultivating realistic optimism is not for it alone to lead to success and happiness but to make all the aforementioned factors and other factors easier to realize and implement.

The main reason why so many people fail to develop a truly "positive mental attitude" or achieve the desired results despite years of reading success and self-help literature is usually that they simply don’t take the required training seriously enough: They read a few books and then vegetate with an "I know that already, I heard it before" attitude, never really practicing seriously, at best half-heartedly.

And that's just not enough, because then everyday routines and established habits quickly catch up.

The perspective needed for training in realistic optimism is illustrated by a well-known story, that’s been told in many variations:

"A student asks his master why, after all these years of meditating, he still isn't enlightened. The master then takes the student to a lake and forces his head underwater until the student almost suffocates. Afterward, the master says to his student, 'When you desire enlightenment as much as you just wanted to breathe, then you will be enlightened.'"

How much do you really want to change? How much do you really want your success? How much do you genuinely want a realistically optimistic mindset?

And, in this context, one of Napoleon Hill's central questions is:

What exactly do you truly, truly want?

Looking at aspects of your current situation that you want to change, this also involves considering a question I came across when reading the New Thought philosopher Mitch Horowitz:

Are you fed up? How fed up? Are you fed up enough to want to change with 100% of your being?

All the best,

Niels Koschoreck

Be Yourself. Just better.

P.S.: I’m currrently offering a series of coaching sessions about the serious implementation of the 13 principles from Napoleon Hill's "Think and Grow Rich"—building upon the book but going beyond it and finding individual approaches to applying them that fit your situatioan and your needs.
I am convinced that these 13 principles work, because they brought me from living in a hostel on one meal a day only about 9 years ago to living well in London, UK, and Venice, Italy in the last years.
Send me an email to niels@newknowing.co by January 7th for more info!